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Zombie Take-Out Episode 28: Fake Shemp

The Evil Dead
Scotto and Uncle John take on their most ambitious challenge yet ... three movies in one double length episode. Get comfy, folks, this week on Zombie Take-Out it's the entire Evil Dead Trilogy. Did Bruce Campbell influence Jim Carey? Who could play Ash in a remake? Klaatu Verada Necktie.

Scotto's Ratings:
Evil Dead
4 brains
Evil Dead II
5 brains
Army of Darkness
5 brains
Uncle John's Ratings:
Evil Dead

Evil Dead II
3 brains
Army of Darkness
4.5 brains

Listen to Episode 28

Download Episode 28 (1:17:09)

Evil Dead
Evil Dead II
Army of Darkness
Deadites Online


Next week ... Cecil B. Demented

Olds 88 photo courtesy of Hugo90


Big, Blue Twinkie 

big, blue, twinkie
Greetings, all, Uncle John here again. I saw Avatar last week and for my second blog post of the holiday break I figured I'd give it a short review. Granted, it isn't exactly in our wheelhouse yet, but given how split the reviews have been I figure it's destined to become a cult classic eventually. It should be noted that I didn't see it in 3D, so I can't comment on that aspect of it.

Not So Impromptu Plot Summary: Dances With Wolves meets The Smurfs on steroids in a galaxy far far away for a little Campbellian heroes journey.

The Pros: The visual effects are stunning and absolutely live up to all the hype. I'm not a big fan of excessive CGI and usually complain that it looks unnatural and takes me out of the movie, but that wasn't the case this time. If it had been at all possible to pull this movie off with practical effects, I would have believed that Cameron had. Also, while there weren't any real standout performances, all of the performances were very solid and overall it was quite well cast. Both of which add up to a very enjoyable ride that I have to admit even pulled me in for the duration (albeit against my better judgement).

The Cons: All of the ones that I'm sure you've heard already. Cliche, predictable story and dialogue, one-dimensional, unoriginal characters and a message that was slightly less heavy handed than your average Michael Moore film. Seriously .. even though I agreed with most of the message it still offended me a little just because of how hard I was hit over the head with it. Obviously Cameron spent 14 years, 11 months and 3 weeks on the look of the film and put the story/script off til the last minute.

On the whole, the experience of seeing Avatar was, for me, kind of like drunken, somewhat regrettable sex. Sure, it looked great and it was fun while it lasted, but there really wasn't anything there under the surface. It wasn't a horrible experience, but afterward I wasn't exactly proud of having seen it (I did feel kinda dirty) and I really doubt I'll be seeing it again. Or ... a Twinkie that's been prepared by a gourmet chef. Yes, it's beautiful to look at and tastes amazing, but all you're really left with in the end are empty calories and guilt over paying way too much for a damned gourmet Twinkie. Or ... an AMC Pacer rebuilt to look just like a Rolls Royce ... ok, you get the point, I'll stop with the analogies.

In short, if you're into the "cinematic experience" of cheesy sci-fi with cool looking looking aliens and an exotic planet (that I think "borrowed" pretty heavily from World of Warcraft ... Zangarmarsh anyone?), then you'll probably love it. However, if you're looking for a film that will change your life or give you anything to think about other than 'that was so cool!', then you're probably better off skipping it ... or at least waiting til it hits cable.

Sequels and Remakes: Of course it's too soon for a remake, but, even though there isn't much left for a sequel, if it does at all well at the box office I'm sure we'll have some.

Rating: 2.5 brains

What Have I Learned? 10' tall, blue, alien chicks with tails and funny ears can be strangely hot.

Next week ... we return with The Evil Dead Trilogy

Reconstructing Rocky

Recon Rocky
Greetings, all, Uncle John here. During the break I'm planning to make a couple of those blog entries that I've been talking about ... well pretty much since we started the show (I really mean it this time lol). For my first one I'm going to start what I'm hoping will be a continuing series where I (and maybe Scotto if he's into it) will cast a potential remake for one of the movies we've reviewed. Now, you're probably thinking 'but don't they talk about this in the episodes?' and the answer would be yes, but those are off the cuff discussions without any real planning (at least on my part). For the blog entries I'm really going to put some thought into my choices and come up with the best possible cast. Of course, there was only one place to start.

This one came to me after a discussion with a friend about Adam Lambert's performance on the finale of So You Think You Can Dance last week (yes, I watch SYTYCD). During the conversation I compared him to Meatloaf (similar voices and theatrical backgrounds) and shortly thereafter it occurred to me that he would be perfect for Eddie. Not only does he have the right voice for it (which is saying something since it's probably the most challenging song in the movie), but America Idol (yes, I watch that too) proved that he can (sort of) pull off the whole black leather biker look. I then decided to finish off the cast list for a blog entry and here we are. I now present to you my choices for the Ultimate RHPS remake.

Director - Baz Luhrmann
By no means am I a fan (I'm still pissed about Romeo and Juliet), but judging from Moulin Rouge I think he'll get it.
Frank - Johnny Depp
He's got the voice for it (Sweeny Todd) and he just might be willing to go full costume (Ed Wood).
Brad - Neil Patrick Harris
Janet - Felicia Day

Ok, yes I'm referencing Dr. Horrible with these two, but it works.
Riff Raff - Jack White
He's got the voice for it and he's just weird enough for it to work.
Magenta - Meg White
You had to see that one coming.
Columbia - Lady Gaga
And that one.
Rocky - Chris Jericho
Muscles, blonde hair and he can sing so some of Rocky's songs can be reintroduced from the stage version.
Eddie - Adam Lambert
See above.
Criminologist - John Hodgeman
PC from the Mac vs. PC ads.
Dr. Scott - Meatloaf
He played both Eddie and Dr. Scott in the stage version so it just makes sense.

Zombie Take-Out Episode 27: Septober

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Scotto and Uncle John discuss a Yuletide classic. A film that brings a sci-fi edge to Ol' Saint Nick and features the film debut of 80s icon Pia Zadora. This week on Zombie Take-Out it's 1964's Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. Is it one of the worst movies of all time? Should Tim Burton direct a remake? Has Santa Claus always been that creepy?
Happy Holidays from Zombie Take-Out.

Scotto's Rating:
2 brains
Uncle John's Rating:
2.5 brains

Listen to Episode 27

Download Episode 27 (35:59)

Full Movie (


In 3 weeks ... The Evil Dead Trilogy


Snowed Out

Due to inclement weather this week's episode has been sacked. The Gods Must Be Crazy will be rescheduled for a future episode. Please check back next week for our Holiday Special.